第148页 | 300 Days of Better Writing | 阅读 ‧ 电子书库

Day 151: Organize sentences to create transitions.

In clear, effective writing, each sentence creates a transition from the sentence before to the sentence following, while adding new content. Also, the final sentence or two in a paragraph need to create a transition to the following paragraph. This gives us two principles for how we order sentences.

Consider this paragraph (plus the first sentence from the next paragraph):

“(1) The first commercially produced simulator used to train clinicians was available in 1994. (2) The newest simulator is the SimX-4. (3) The SimX-4 is completely wireless and provides vascular access and numerous clinical scenarios, as well as the ability to customize scenarios to accommodate administering intravenous drugs. (4) Clinical simulation is being used increasingly to teach skills to clinicians.

(5) The content of training programs for administering drugs is not changing.”

Can you see which sentence is out of place?

Sentence #4 is misplaced. If we move sentence 4 to the beginning of the paragraph, it establishes the context for the entire paragraph, and it provides a transition to sentence #1 with the terms “teach” and “clinicians.” Also, now sentence #3 can make a smooth transition to the next paragraph with the terms “administering drugs.” Here is the revised version.

“(4) Clinical simulation is being used increasingly to teach skills to clinicians. (1) The first commercially produced simulator used to train clinicians was available in 1994. (2) The newest simulator is the SimX-4. (3) The SimX-4 is completely wireless and provides vascular access and numerous clinical scenarios, as well as the ability to customize scenarios to accommodate administering intravenous drugs.

(5) The content of training programs for administering drugs is not changing.”

Overall, we have satisfied our two principles. Each sentence creates a transition from the previous to the next sentence, and the final sentence creates a transition to the next paragraph. The revised passage is more coherent, direct, and logical.