6. TAKING BACK JOY

When people lose a loved one: Margaret Shandor Miles and Alice Sterner Demi, “A Comparison of Guilt in Bereaved Parents Whose Children Died by Suicide, Accident, or Chronic Disease,” OMEGA: Journal of Death and Dying 24 (1992): 203–15.

广告：个人专属 VPN，独立 IP，无限流量，多机房切换，还可以屏蔽广告和恶意软件，每月最低仅 5 美元

When a company lays off employees: Joel Brockner, Jeff Greenberg, Audrey Brockner, et al., “Layoffs, Equity Theory, and Work Performance: Further Evidence of the Impact of Survivor Guilt,” Academy of Management Journal 29 (1986): 373–84; Barbara Kiviat, “After Layoffs, There’s Survivor Guilt,” Time, February 1, 2009: http://content.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,1874592,00.html.

A life chasing pleasure without meaning: Roy F. Baumeister, Kathleen D. Vohs, Jennifer L. Aaker, and Emily N. Garbinsky, “Some Key Differences Between a Happy Life and a Meaningful Life,” The Journal of Positive Psychology 8 (2013): 505–16.

When we focus on others, we find: Adam M. Grant, Elizabeth M. Campbell, Grace Chen, et al., “Impact and the Art of Motivation Maintenance: The Effects of Contact with Beneficiaries on Persistence Behavior,” Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes 103 (2007): 53–67; Adam M. Grant, “Does Intrinsic Motivation Fuel the Prosocial Fire? Motivational Synergy in Predicting Persistence, Performance, and Productivity,” Journal of Applied Psychology 93 (2008): 48–58; Nicola Bellé, “Experimental Evidence on the Relationship Between Public Service Motivation and Job Performance,” Public Administration Review 73 (2013): 143–53.

“Joy is the ultimate act of defiance”: Bono, quoted in Brian Boyd, “Bono: The Voice of Innocence and Experience,” The Irish Times, September 18, 2015: www.irishtimes.com/culture/music/bono-the-voice-of-innocence-and-experience-1.2355501; quote changed from “an act of defiance” to “the ultimate act of defiance” with permission.

But happiness is the frequency: Ed Diener, Ed Sandvik, and William Pavot, “Happiness Is the Frequency, Not the Intensity, of Positive Versus Negative Affect,” in Subjective Well-Being: An Interdisciplinary Perspective, ed. Fritz Strack, Michael Argyle, and Norbert Schwartz (New York: Pergamon, 1991).

In a twelve-year study of bereaved spouses: Frank J. Infurna and Suniya S. Luthar, “The Multidimensional Nature of Resilience to Spousal Loss,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (in press): http://psycnet.apa.org/psycinfo/2016-33916-001/.

“How we spend our days”: Annie Dillard, The Writing Life (New York: Harper & Row, 1989).

happiness is the joy you find: Tim Urban, “How to Pick Your Life Partner—Part 2,” Wait but Why, February 2014: http://waitbutwhy.com/2014/02/pick-life-partner-part-2.html.

we are wired to focus on the negatives: Paul Rozin and Edward B. Royzman, “Negativity Bias, Negativity Dominance, and Contagion,” Personality and Social Psychology Review 5 (2001): 296–320; Roy F. Baumeister, Ellen Bratslavsky, Catrin Finkenauer, and Kathleen D. Vohs, “Bad Is Stronger than Good,” Review of General Psychology 5 (2001): 323–70.

But today we give that attention: Anita DeLongis, James C. Coyne, Gayle Dakof, et al., “Relationship of Daily Hassles, Uplifts, and Major Life Events to Health Status,” Health Psychology 1 (1982): 119–36; Vivian Kraaij, Ella Arensman, and Philip Spinhoven, “Negative Life Events and Depression in Elderly Persons: A Meta-Analysis,” The Journals of Gerontology Series B 57 (2002): 87–94.

Just as labeling negative emotions: Michele M. Tugade, Barbara L. Fredrickson, and Lisa Feldman Barrett, “Psychological Resilience and Positive Emotional Granularity: Examining the Benefits of Positive Emotions on Coping and Health,” Journal of Personality 72 (2004): 1161–90.

Writing about joyful experiences: Chad M. Burton and Laura A. King, “The Health Benefits of Writing About Intensely Positive Experiences,” Journal of Research in Personality 38 (2004): 150–63; Joyce E. Bono, Theresa M. Glomb, Winny Shen, et al., “Building Positive Resources: Effects of Positive Events and Positive Reflection on Work Stress and Health,” Academy of Management Journal 56 (2013): 1601–27.

We can savor the smallest of daily events: Anthony D. Ong, C. S. Bergeman, Toni L. Bisconti, and Kimberly A. Wallace, “Psychological Resilience, Positive Emotions, and Successful Adaptation to Stress in Later Life,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 91 (2006): 730–49.

As we get older, we define happiness: Cassie Mogilner, Sepandar D. Kamvar, and Jennifer Aaker, “The Shifting Meaning of Happiness,” Social Psychological and Personality Science 2 (2011): 395–402.

“Peace is joy at rest”: Reverend Veronica Goines, quoted in Anne Lamott, Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith (New York: Riverhead, 2006); Robert Lee Hill, The Color of Sabbath: Proclamations and Prayers for New Beginnings (Pasadena: Hope Publishing House, 2007).

Sharing positive events with another person: Shelly L. Gable, Harry T. Reis, Emily A. Impett, and Evan R. Asher, “What Do You Do When Things Go Right? The Intrapersonal and Interpersonal Benefits of Sharing Positive Events,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 87 (2004): 228–45.

“Joy is a discipline”: Shannon Sedgwick Davis, “Joy Is a Discipline,” To My Boys, May 18, 2014: www.2myboys.com/joy-discipline.

“just manageable difficulty”: Nicholas Hobbs, “The Psychologist as Administrator,” Journal of Clinical Psychology 25 (1959): 237–40; John Habel, “Precipitating Myself into Just Manageable Difficulties: Constructing an Intellectual Biography of Nicholas Hobbs,” in Inside Stories: Qualitative Research Reflections, ed. Kathleen B. deMarrais (Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum, 1998).

Flow: Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Finding Flow: The Psychology of Engagement with Everyday Life (New York: Basic Books, 1998); Ryan W. Quinn, “Flow in Knowledge Work: High Performance Experience in the Design of National Security Technology,” Administrative Science Quarterly 50 (2005): 610–41.

“if Bruce Wayne watched his parents murdered”: Quoted in Jason Zinoman, “Patton Oswalt: ‘I’ll Never Be at 100 Percent Again,’ ” The New York Times, October 26, 2016: www.nytimes.com/2016/10/30/arts/patton-oswalt-ill-never-be-at-100-percent-again.html?_r=0; quote changed from “cut hero” to “buff hero” with permission.

The physical health effects of exercise: Mayo Clinic Staff, “Exercise: 7 Benefits of Regular Physical Activity,” Mayo Clinic, October 13, 2016: www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/fitness/in-depth/exercise/art-20048389.

Many doctors and therapists also point to exercise: Georgia Stahopoulou, Mark B. Powers, Angela C. Berry, et al., “Exercise Interventions for Mental Health: A Quantitative and Qualitative Review,” Clinical Psychology 13 (2006): 179–93.

For some adults over fifty who suffer: James A. Blumenthal, Michael A. Babyak, Kathleen A. Moore, et al., “Effects of Exercise Training on Older Patients with Major Depression,” Archives of Internal Medicine 159 (1999): 2349–56.

There are more refugees today: UNHCR, the UN Refugee Agency, “Figures at a Glance,” accessed on December 18, 2016: www.unhcr.org/en-us/figures-at-a-glance.html; Scott Arbeiter, “America’s Duty to Take in Refugees,” The New York Times, September 23, 2016: www.nytimes.com/2016/09/24/opinion/americas-duty-to-take-in-refugees.html.