7. RAISING RESILIENT KIDS

award-winning painter Timothy Chambers: www.iguanaacademy.com/timothy-chambers/.

Kim watched a talk Adam gave on resilience: Adam Grant, “The Surprising Habits of Original Thinkers,” TED, April 2016: www.ted.com/talks/adam_grant_the_surprising_habits_of_original_thinkers.

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Two out of ten U.S. children of all backgrounds: National Poverty Center, “Poverty in the United States,” accessed on December 14, 2016: www.npc.umich.edu/poverty/.

Forty-three percent of children of single mothers: Bernadette D. Proctor, Jessica L. Semega, and Melissa A. Kollar, “Income and Poverty in the United States: 2015,” United States Census Bureau, September 2016: www.census.gov/content/dam/Census/library/publications/2016/demo/p60-256.pdf.

More than two and a half million children: Katie Reilly, “Sesame Street Reaches Out to 2.7 Million American Children with an Incarcerated Parent,” Pew Research Center, June 21, 2013: www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2013/06/21/sesame-street-reaches-out-to-2-7-million-american-children-with-an-incarcerated-parent.

These extreme levels of harm and deprivation: Katie A. McLaughlin and Margaret A. Sheridan, “Beyond Cumulative Risk: A Dimensional Approach to Childhood Adversity,” Current Directions in Psychological Science 25 (2016): 239–45.

High-quality preschool education: Gregory Camilli, Sadako Vargas, Sharon Ryan, and William Steven Barnett, “Meta-Analysis of the Effects of Early Education Interventions on Cognitive and Social Development,” Teachers College Record 122 (2010): 579–620.

the Nurse-Family Partnership: www.nursefamilypartnership.org/.

When disadvantaged families are provided: Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn, “The Way to Beat Poverty,” The New York Times, September 12, 2014: www.nytimes.com/2014/09/14/opinion/sunday/nicholas-kristof-the-way-to-beat-poverty.html.

every dollar put into these visits: Lynn A. Karoly, M. Rebecca Kilburn, and Jill S. Cannon, “Early Childhood Interventions: Proven Results, Future Promise,” RAND Labor and Population 2005: www.rand.org/content/dam/rand/pubs/monographs/2005/RAND_MG341.pdf.

Resilience leads to greater happiness: Ann S. Masten, “Ordinary Magic: Resilience Processes in Development,” American Psychologist 56 (2001): 227–38; Carolyn M. Youssef and Fred Luthans, “Positive Organizational Behavior in the Workplace: The Impact of Hope, Optimism, and Resilience,” Journal of Management 33 (2007): 774–800; Salvatore R. Maddi, Hardiness: Turning Stressful Circumstances into Resilient Growth (New York: Springer Science & Business Media, 2012).

It’s a lifelong project: Brian R. Little, Katariina Salmela-Aro, and Susan D. Phillips, eds., Personal Project Pursuit: Goals, Action, and Human Flourishing (Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum, 2006).

“competent, confident, and caring young adults”: Emmy E. Werner, “High-Risk Children in Young Adulthood: A Longitudinal Study from Birth to 32 Years,” American Journal of Orthopsychiatry 59 (1989): 72–81.

The same holds true for children: Mary Karapetian Alvord and Judy Johnson Grados, “Enhancing Resilience in Children: A Proactive Approach,” Professional Psychology: Research in Practice 36 (2005): 238–45.

Change Your Shoes: Kathy Andersen started this program and made it a Lean In Circle. For more information, see https://leanincircles.org/chapter/change-your-shoes.

children respond better to adversity: Carol S. Dweck, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success (New York: Random House, 2006).

Whether children develop a fixed or growth mindset: Claudia M. Mueller and Carol S. Dweck, “Praise for Intelligence Can Undermine Children’s Motivation and Performance,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 75 (1998): 33–52.

After students at risk of dropping out: David Paunesku, Gregory M. Walton, Carissa Romero, et al., “Mind-set Interventions Are a Scalable Treatment for Academic Underachievement,” Psychological Science 26 (2015): 784–93.

When college freshmen completed: David S. Yeager, Gregory M. Walton, Shannon T. Brady, et al., “Teaching a Lay Theory Before College Narrows Achievement Gaps at Scale,” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences 113 (2016): 12111–13.

Today the importance of helping kids: Kyla Haimovitz and Carol S. Dweck, “What Predicts Children’s Fixed and Growth Mind-Sets? Not Their Parents’ Views of Intelligence but Their Parents’ Views of Failure,” Psychological Science 27 (2016): 859–69.

“normalizing struggle”: Julie Lythcott-Haims, How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success (New York: Holt, 2015).

“Maybe math isn’t one”: Carol Dweck, “Carol Dweck Revisits the Growth Mindset,” Education Week, September 22, 2015: www.edweek.org/ew/articles/2015/09/23/carol-dweck-revisits-the-growth-mindset.html.

mattering: Morris Rosenberg and B. Claire McCullough, “Mattering: Inferred Significance and Mental Health Among Adolescents,” Research in Community and Mental Health 2 (1981): 163–82; Login S. George and Crystal L. Park, “Meaning in Life as Comprehension, Purpose, and Mattering: Toward Integration and New Research Questions,” Review of General Psychology 20 (2016): 205–20.

those who felt they mattered were less likely: Gregory C. Elliott, Melissa F. Colangelo, and Richard J. Gelles, “Mattering and Suicide Ideation: Establishing and Elaborating a Relationship,” Social Psychology Quarterly 68 (2005): 223–38.

Lesbian, gay, and bisexual youths: Laura Kann, Emily O’Malley Olsen, Tim McManus, et al., “Sexual Identity, Sex of Sexual Contacts, and Health-Risk Behaviors Among Students in Grades 9–12,” Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report, June 10, 2011: www.cdc.gov/mmwr/pdf/ss/ss60e0606.pdf.

Klassen Time: Jessica Alexander, “Teaching Kids Empathy: In Danish Schools, It’s…Well, It’s a Piece of Cake,” Salon, August 9, 2016: www.salon.com/2016/08/09/teaching-kids-empathy-in-danish-schools-its-well-its-a-piece-of-cake; Jessica Joelle Alexander and Iben Dissing Sandahl, The Danish Way of Parenting: What the Happiest People in the World Know About Raising Confident, Capable Kids (New York: TarcherPerigee, 2016).

The children learn empathy: Martin L. Hoffman, Empathy and Moral Development: Implications for Caring and Justice (New York: Cambridge University Press, 2001).

a resilience program called Girls First: http://corstone.org/girls-first-bihar-india/.

she intervened to stop a boy: Kate Leventhal, “Ritu’s Story: A New Advocate for Peace and Women’s Rights,” CorStone, November 19, 2015: http://corstone.org/ritus-story-peace-rights/.

when teachers are told students from stigmatized groups: Lee Jussim and Kent D. Harber, “Teacher Expectations and Self-Fulfilling Prophecies: Knowns and Unknowns, Resolved and Unresolved Controversies,” Personality and Social Psychology Review 9 (2005): 131–55; Robert Rosenthal and Lenore Jacobson, “Teachers’ Expectancies: Determinants of Pupils’ IQ Gains,” Psychological Reports 19 (1966): 115–18; Monica J. Harris and Robert Rosenthal, “Mediation of Interpersonal Expectancy Effects: 31 Meta-Analyses,” Psychological Bulletin 97 (1985): 363–86.

Believe you can learn from failure: David S. Yeager and Carol S. Dweck, “Mindsets That Promote Resilience: When Students Believe That Personal Characteristics Can Be Developed,” Educational Psychologist 47 (2012): 302–14.

Believe you matter: Adam M. Grant and Francesca Gino, “A Little Thanks Goes a Long Way: Explaining Why Gratitude Expressions Motivate Prosocial Behavior,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 98 (2010): 946–55.

More than 1.8 million children in America: Social Security Administration, “Benefits Paid by Type of Beneficiary,” accessed on December 14, 2016: www.ssa.gov/oact/progdata/icp.html.

in a national poll nearly three-quarters said: “Life with Grief Research,” Comfort Zone News, accessed on December 14, 2016: www.comfortzonecamp.org/news/childhood-bereavement-study-results.

kids have more neural plasticity: Joan Stiles, “Neural Plasticity and Cognitive Development,” Developmental Neuropsychology 18 (2000): 237–72. See also Dante Ciccheti, “Resilience Under Conditions of Extreme Stress: A Multilevel Perspective,” World Psychiatry 9 (2010): 145–54.

They have shorter “feeling spans”: Kenneth J. Doka and Joyce D. Davidson, eds., Living with Grief: Who We Are, How We Grieve (New York: Routledge, 1998).

When we’re tired: Christopher M. Barnes, Cristiano L. Guarana, Shazia Nauman, and Dejun Tony King, “Too Tired to Inspire or Be Inspired: Sleep Deprivation and Charismatic Leadership,” Journal of Applied Psychology 101 (2016): 1191–99; Brett Litwiller, Lori Anderson Snyder, William D. Taylor, and Logan M. Steele, “The Relationship Between Sleep and Work: A Meta-Analysis,” Journal of Applied Psychology (in press): http://psycnet.apa.org/psycinfo/2016-57450-001/.

Girls Leadership: https://girlsleadership.org/.

When children grow up with a strong understanding: Robyn Fivush, Jennifer Bohanek, Rachel Robertson, and Marshall Duke, “Family Narratives and the Development of Children’s Emotional Well-Being,” in Family Stories and the Life Course: Across Time and Generations, ed. Michael W. Pratt and Barbara H. Fiese (Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum, 2004); Bruce Feiler, “The Stories That Bind Us,” The New York Times, March 15, 2013: www.nytimes.com/2013/03/17/fashion/the-family-stories-that-bind-us-this-life.html.

Giving all members of the family: Jennifer G. Bohanek, Kelly A. Marin, Robyn Fivush, and Marshall P. Duke, “Family Narrative Interaction and Children’s Sense of Self,” Family Process 45 (2006): 39–54.

Nostalgia is literally: Constantine Sedikides, Tim Wildschut, Jamie Arndt, and Clay Routledge, “Nostalgia: Past, Present, and Future,” Current Directions in Psychological Science 17 (2008): 304–7.

a program at Arizona State University: Rachel A. Haine, Tim S. Ayers, Irwin N. Sandler, and Sharlene A. Wolchik, “Evidence-Based Practices for Parentally Bereaved Children and Their Families,” Professional Psychology: Research and Practice 39 (2008): 113–21. See also Margaret Stroebe and Henk Schut, “Family Matters in Bereavement: Toward an Integrative Intra-Interpersonal Coping Model,” Perspectives on Psychological Science 10 (2015): 873–79. More details about the Family Bereavement Program are at https://reachinstitute.asu.edu/programs/family-bereavement.

happiness is remembered, not just experienced: Daniel Kahneman, Thinking, Fast and Slow (New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2012).

Now I take videos: Kristin Diehl, Gal Zauberman, and Alixandra Barasch, “How Taking Photos Increases Enjoyment of Experiences,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 111 (2016): 119–40.