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Element Four: Pursue Your Passion (Ease)
Do you know anyone who tried for years to have a baby but couldn’t? Then, after giving up, maybe after adopting, suddenly, surprisingly, got pregnant?
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Or someone who was dying to be in a relationship? Dated all the time, but never met the right person. Then, after accepting he would be alone, started focusing on other things and, lo and behold, met someone and got married?
How about someone who lost her job? Maybe she spent the next year working on her résumé, perusing job sites, devoting all her energy to getting work. All to no avail. Then, after deciding to stop looking so hard, out of the blue came a great job offer?
What is that? A karmic journey? A miracle? Statistical aberration? Pure random chance? Perhaps it never really happens; perhaps we remember those stories precisely because they are so unusual.
Or perhaps, it’s a really great strategy.
I heard a story from a friend of mine. She knows a guy who’s been out of work for more than a year. He’s spent the year working on his résumé and sending it out. He’s on Internet job sites every day. He tries to meet with people when there’s the opportunity, but there aren’t a lot of opportunities. And he’s getting more and more depressed. It’s hard to get out of bed, but he does. He puts on a suit and tie, sits at his computer, and looks. Eventually, he figures, he’ll find a job. I’m sure he’s right.
But probably no time soon. Who wants to hire someone who’s depressed?
I do think there’s another way to go through life with less pain and more success. A way to spend your year—of doing work and living your life—that’s a pleasure and a great match for you and your talents.
Give up.
Not completely. But mostly. Just stop trying so hard. Here’s my recipe:
Make a list of all the things you love doing or things that intrigue you that you’d like to try doing. This is brainstorming, so don’t limit the list or judge it; write down everything you can think of.
Separate the activities you do with people from the activities you do alone. For example, gardening, reading, meditating, and writing are alone activities. Volunteering to run a fund-raiser is with people.
Look at the activities you do alone and figure out if you can (and want to) do them in a way that includes other people. For example, join a garden club. Or a reading or meditation group. Or write something that other people read. If you can (and want to) make them activities that include other people, keep them on the list. If not, then cross them off.
Now’s the fun part: Spend 90 percent of your time—either at work or, if you can’t yet, then outside of work—doing things you love (or have always wanted to try) with other people who also love doing those things. If possible, take a leadership role.
A good friend of mine got involved in a church she adores. She loves all the pastors; she came to our house for dinner the other day and couldn’t stop talking about them. So she met with them and offered to help in whatever way they needed. She’s now leading a monthly strategy breakfast with the pastors and lay leaders of the church. I’ve never seen her so excited.
Another friend is training for a triathlon with a group of fifteen others. He’s in the best shape of his life and can’t stop talking about it.
A company I know is doing pro bono work for charities and the government. Everyone working on those projects is energized.
Another company I know has given all their people writing time; they’ve been told to put their ideas on paper and get them out there. Somewhere. Anywhere.
Why does this work? Woody Allen once said that 80 percent of success is just showing up. When I first started my business, a great mentor of mine told me to join the boards of not-for-profits and do what I do best for them. Other board members will then see the results and want to hire my company to do the same for them and their companies. That’s the obvious reason.
Here’s the more subtle reason this works: People want to hire energized people who are passionate and excited about what they’re doing. Jobs come from being engaged in the world and building human connections.
And an even more subtle reason: If you’re passionate about what you’re doing, and you’re doing it with other people who are passionate about what they’re doing, then chances are the work you eventually end up doing for your livelihood—if you’re not already doing it—will be more in line with the stuff you love to do. And then… then your life changes (not to be too dramatic, but it’s true). You’re doing work you love, at which you excel, with people you enjoy. You can’t help but succeed.
Now, I know what you might be thinking: That’s a fine strategy if you’re independently wealthy, getting that nice fat trust fund check every week to pay for your gym membership (or mortgage, or kid’s tuition). But what about the rest of us? We can’t just quit jobs we’re ill-suited for if they pay the bills. Our inability to pay the monthly bills might actually intrude on our ability to “enjoy” unemployment.
That’s true. But not an excuse not to start. Because your best bet at succeeding, whether you’re looking for a job or already in one, is to throw yourself into things you adore. Work that doesn’t feel like work because it’s easy. Because you naturally shine when you’re doing it.
If you don’t have a job, then your hardest job is to manage your fear. Because here’s the kicker: It won’t take longer to find a job even though you’re spending less time looking. It’ll take you less time.
Pursuing things you love doing with people you enjoy will better position you to get a job—and much better position you to get a job at the intersection of the four elements. Other people will notice your commitment, passion, skill, and personality, and they’ll want to either hire you or help you get hired.
Also, actively pursuing other activities while looking for a job will make you more qualified for a job—because you’ll end up a more interesting person. When you finally get that job interview, you’ll be able to recount all the many things you’ve been doing (and will probably have a good time relating them) instead of saying that the only thing you’ve been doing for the past three years is looking (unsuccessfully so far) for a job.
I just heard the story of a woman who decided to do work she didn’t enjoy for a few years in order to make a lot of money. Three years later, the company went bankrupt. That could happen to anyone. Bad luck. But here’s what she said that I found the most depressing: “It’s as though I didn’t work for the last three years—it’s all gone. And what’s worse, I worked like a dog and hated it. I just wasted three years of my life.”
Don’t waste your time, your year. Spend it in a way that excites you. That teaches you new things. That introduces you to new people who see you at your natural, most excited, most powerful best. Use and develop your strengths. Use and even develop your weaknesses. Express your differences. And pursue the things you love.
There’s no better way to spend your year.
Your year will be best spent doing work that you enjoy so much, it feels effortless. You’ll always work tirelessly at your passions—hard work will feel easier.
